Guide to Right - Soulmate

Guide to Right - Soulmate

Now a days we especially the working people, carrier-oriented people and choosy people are struggling with finding the one person with whom we can spend our entire life happily. Love is something that will grew over time in between as it happens in all cases. You will hardly start loving any one in today's practical world. So just don't worry about it for now. And focus on getting married with the right person you can find as much as possible.

So Here I am going to give you some of the tips that are most common in every boy and girl's search. This may act as a light in the dark search for your soulmate.

1) Appearance:

Yes! This is the first step in finding your soulmate. You must first visualize how your partner should look like. Setting basic expectations I would say!!!

Believe it or not or be what ever supporter you want to in your mind, but this is true!!!

One would say I am not looking for looks or blah! blah! but trust me if they are given option to choose from the most beautiful girl in the world and the one in the next town which is not so good with looks, one will always choose for the beautiful one. Same goes for the girls as well, No girl will ever prefer any random boy over Sharukh Khan or Tom Cruise etc for example.

A boy / girl will always choose the best-looking person from the options. That includes but may not be limited to Face, Body, Skin color, Dressing, Hair style and their Smell (if in case using perfume).

We all get attracted to their Physical APPEARANCE at First!!!

So, one must first make an image of how your soul mate should look like. And you may find closer to your expectations or more than that. But first set the expectations about it!!!

2) Search:

It doesn't matter how you are coming to know about the person. Either via friends, relatives, or via any Matrimonial application, any Dating site or app, or any Social Network site or app or in your office or any thing you can imagine of. Use all possible ways. Explore every thing that you have access to but do search if you really need one.

Don't get upset if some one doesn't like or Rejects you. And Don't be happy when you don't like or Reject some one. its just a choice and feelings one has. So just take it lite, be positive and keep going.

Be Sure of what you are looking for while searching for the partner I don't want to include many points here but to list here are few.

1) Just for the sake of getting married

2) A earning helping hand 

3) For house hold stuffs only etc

at least one strong selection criteria you must have while you look for options.

Post all this have a talk and schedule a face to face meet when everything went well on call.

3) Meeting:

So here is the big day.

I am assuming you have done the process of filtering photos and gone through the process of initial selection rejections on profile, phone or messages.

Now! how will you decide whether the one you shortlisted the right one in first meeting. So here I am going to give you a step by step guide to help you get closer to your search. Sequence doesn’t matter here but what does matter is you to look at what is important for you.

a)      Looks:

Yes, as I said above, verify if you have the same candidate or is it different like is it actually how you saw in pics or the pics were edited, and that person is actually what you have expected. or you may be getting much better than what you have expected.

b)      Look at truthfulness:

When you meet the person find a one question whose answer should give you an idea on truthfulness of the person e.g. if a girl has made any recipe on the table ask what and how she made, about education, future plans,  or any other question according to situation around, that may reveal if s/he is not trying to hide  something.

if    someone interrupting then it’s a problem, make an environment where such talks are comfortable

Ask about past relation ships and make a note of it and in this post you will understand later why I said this!

 c)       Financial management:

The person you are looking at, try to find out how they earn and how and where they spend. This gives you a vision on financial security whether the person can handle the financial matters properly or not

d)      Connection in talks:

While in conversation, notice if long pauses are too much. Or communication is happening like a flow. If thoughts match and you can smoothly change the topics and can keep talking for at least half an hour without hurting dis respecting each other even slightly then it’s a Green signal to go ahead with. This gives the idea that they both respect each other’s feeling and trying not to bring any topic that will hurt either of them. Also if they un intentionally hurt then see if they are trying to correct it or giving excuses. See if the one is attentive or is busy with phone or something while you are talking… Note the actions as much as you can!!!

e)      Life Goals/ Desire/ Dreams:

Look for these things, they are very very much important for long term relationship

If they have any thing that you think you won’t be able to be the part of then it’s a clear red signal for you in long term.

(if any one who is not having any vision, it is very much ok, s/he  may be supportive for your goals and dreams)

f)        Responsibility:

See how much responsible that person is, if he is an earning person, how much family responsibility s/he is taking care of with that earning. Is s/he ready to take on another responsibility of you and the future children? Same goes for handling house hold stuffs not necessarily but in case if needed.

g)      Responds to Arguments / Fights:

This you will be able to find during conversation, see if that person is trying to solve it peacefully without much noise, or s/he is trying to create a drama scene out of it. If the answer is 2^nd one… Straight away DROP!!!

h)      Living with Joint Family:

This is specially and only for girls. See if you can stay with in laws or not. This totally depends on you if you can manage their interventions then go for it else say this straight forward with proper justification!!! so that they can make proper arrangements if they are willing proceed ahead with you and if they can afford too.

i)        Manners:

If one doesn’t have manners etiquettes then forget about respect from that person. See to it most importantly

      j)     Hygiene:

See if the family maintains hygiene. This will improve your way of living and life style if any one of you is having it.

 

These are some of the most important things I have noted here for you to decide on your selected candidate based on my experience.

4) Back Ground Check:

Once you have decided that you want to go ahead with the person you just met, do a thorough family background checks of the person and their family. Like do they have any close relative involved in any criminal activities, or did they have a lot divorces in their relatives or family. Do they hide something from neighbors? Or any alcoholic/drug addict person in family, Especially the person had any relationship in past or is s/he still having- evaluate it with the answer you get in your first discussion.

Just see how much negative result you are getting from that enquiries.

The more the negative responses, the more you should avoid going ahead with them.

This search result will give you a confidence. With the pros and cons of this search you will be sure of what you can tolerate and what you cannot. Based on this you can decide whether to go ahead with that person or not.

 

5) Proceeding ahead with Marriage:

Now everything went smooth and we are here on the discussion table of proceeding ahead with marriage. Here are few small guidelines to follow, that will avoid genuine drama from your marriage.

Can’t guarantee on un necessary drama from any of the ladki ka mama or ladke phupa or chacha etc.

1)  Have a clear and sorted and written discussion on each and everything about the does and don’ts as much as possible. Many a times it happens where any of the party stands up and says xyzzy task is not done or xyzzy thing is not there. So, it’s better to have everything on record to avoid such conflicts. (Genuine Ones)

2)  Post that adhere to those agreement you made between them.

3)  Try to do things in co-ordination to make it better, some families take it wrong ways though!,  so be aware of the opposite party’s nature first prior to this. Else better you do your own preparations.

4) Try to avoid inviting people who creates drama in function. If you must then make proper arrangements that at first, they should not create one. And even if they did then it should not impact your marriage process or humiliate opposite party or your side.

5)  In between those days if you see any party is continuously becoming a trouble or creating a scene over any silly thing or un necessary thing. DROP the process there and then itself. It has to be straight away that you don't want to continue with this marriage. The reason is, they won't stop doing so even if you do things according to them. This will continue post marriage as well. That marriage will make your life miserable. So before doing anything in such matters, think a thousand times about everything you did and they and the reasons behind it and evaluate and take actions accordingly.

Hope you find this useful in your search!

At the end I pray you get the best of the Soulmate!

Thanks for your time :)